Lullaby of nothing
by Girl With A Heart Of Ice
Summary: "Nothing changes. Nothing moves before or after. The stillness continues. The flame that raged, so bright and furious, is still. Just like he is." Darkness has consumed Sasuke but for a moment there's light. Warnings inside -please read them first.


**Warning: Mentions of death, dark and depressive thoughts and general angst. Hallucionations and slight reference to insanity/mental instability. Incest/undertones of incest. **

Lullaby of nothing

The darkness of the night surrounds him. The silence of the world consumes everything around him. The faint rays of moonlight bounce from his pale skin and cast a shine to his black and blue hair. Eyes, darker than the abyss of the pond before him, rest their gaze upon nothing. His thoughts are still, his body immovable.

No words are spoken when his companion shifts next to him. No meaningful gazes are exchanged. Nothing changes. Nothing moves before or after. The stillness continues. This moment. This is the moment that he has been waiting for. The moment where he doesn't exist. The moment when his choices matter not, when his thoughts have halted, when his emotions frozen. The flame that raged, so bright and furious, is still. Just like he is.

It's a moment of absolute silence and moment of absolute stillness. For nothing moves. His breathing stops, his thoughts freeze. And all is still. Like it was supposed to be. The moon casts a shadow behind him. And that too is still. The water surface stays still, as though frozen. And maybe it is. The air that stands still around him is cold. The freezing touch of air caresses his elbow and he shudders. For a brief second the stillness is broken. And then it returns -encasing him in a protective cocoon.

The figure next to him turns to look at him. He doesn't have to turn to see it -he knows it. Like he knows himself. He knows this person as well as he knows himself -_maybe even better- _and he knows the words that he's going to hear before his companion opens their mouth to say them.

"Are you sure?" The voice is deep, velvety and even though it should break the silence, it seems to merge with it. The sound echoes in his ears. He doesn't move, doesn't turn to face his companion and keeps his gaze firmly locked upon the nothingness before him. The moon hides behind a cloud and his companion shifts again, this time closer to him before speaking again.

"Is this what you want?" He doesn't answer and his companion seems to know that he won't. After all this person knows him like they know themselves. So there's no answer because they both already know each and every question that could be asked and each and every answer that could be given. And the silence continues.

A phantom touch of a _-warm, gentle, protective, guiding, loving, forgiving- _hand settles on his face as the person shifts closer. There's a warm puff of air right on his ear before the next question is asked.

"Is this your answer?" And for the first time he feels the need to voice the answer but he does not, though his mind screams it; _**Yes.**_ What follows is a soft chuckle. And for moment the sensation upon his skin is so intense he almost screams_\- because he misses the feeling and he can never have it back, never again, because no matter how much the other forgives he can never forgive himself, so __**this is the answer**__._

There's silence. The hand seems to fade. The presence seems to disappear along with it -slowly slipping into the darkness around him. He clings to it, though he knows he shouldn't, after all this person is no longer here, but he does. His senses strain to feel the other and even as the feeling fades faster and faster. He moves, for the first time, desperation clawing at his chest, icy feeling spreading trough him. _I don't want to be alone again -please don't leave! _And then he hears the voice again, just as he stands and takes step.

"No matter the answer…" He takes a step forward hands reaching out blindly toward the nothingness -_toward the darkness before him- _but he can't grasp it. Then the feeling of hands reaching out, touching, embracing him stops him from moving. The warm hands embrace him, protect him from the darkness around him -_and how ironic is that; just moment ago he embraced the darkness, reached for it and now it scares him, the inky blackness disgust him- _and for moment he forgets.

There is a hand cupping his jaw, lifting t from where he had buried it in the other's chest. Black eyes are open -_but also closed-_ and he meets the dark orbs that are nearly identical to his own. Foreheads touch while gazes remain locked -_not like he would or could look away- _as the other continues.

"I'll always love you." His breath hitches and suddenly he feels the touch of soft lips upon his own. And he absorbs that feeling, drowns himself in it -_even __if it is just a moment he'll take it, he'll take anything that the being before wishes to bestow upon him; be it a punishment or a reward- _before the presence suddenly fades away.

The darkness, the cold rushes back and the black eyes open to see the nothingness before him -_because there's nothing if the other is dead- _before closing them. The icy coldness spreads trough his body again -_those hands had pushed it back, so far down he hadn't even remembered- _and the black nothing consumes him -_like it always does when they part. _

He stands still upon the surface of the bond where had rushed in his desperation to reach the other -_even now, when that person is gone, he's still the focus of his whole world; nothing else matters-_ and sees the ripples that even his slightest movement causes. The stillness of the night has been broken. The darkness that had been creeping in the shadows seemed to finally move. It moves around him, waiting for a moment, to see if he will resist it again -_and if that person was still here he would, but now there's nothing but darkness-_ but he doesn't.

The iciness spreads from deep inside him, enveloping his whole being, body and mind -_not like it mattered anymore because he had been dead for a while now._ The darkness followed. It felt safe -_because the other was gone and if the light rejected him the darkness certainly wouldn't –_ and he moved. The flame that had been frozen came back to life but instead of burning down the darkness that was devouring him it turned cold and cruel. The thoughts that had halted begun moving, plans forming, and the darkness slithered to those as well, painting each idea with hate, rage and cruelty.

The moon stayed hidden behind the dark clouds and as the darkness moved he smiled. There was no joy in it, no happiness -_he lost the only thing that could bring him happiness in this world-_, only insanity and darkness lurked beneath his eyes and the cruel smirk. The silence continued as he moved forward -graceful and powerful like the darkness around him and _**in him.**_ Because the velvety darkness and hatred had filled the hole that been left when the other died -_though nothing could ever replace the person who given everything for him and he knew it-_ and he no intention of ever finding the light again. _Because only one person could be his light in the darkness and Sasuke knew that person had been Itachi- his bother had been his everything. And now that his everything had been stolen from him, he had to make sure that everyone else knew what it mean to die with the person you loved. What it meant to be left behind. What it meant to love and lose. And he would show them all. __**Because this is his answer**__._

**A/N**

**So just a little something that has been rattling around my head for a while. I've always been obsessed with Sasuke and his whole story arc -not saying I'm blind to his flaws, but I respect his character and the fact he's human and thus reacts like one. I've read the manga, watched the anime and I personally cannot find many characters that I cannot make a story about in the Naruto Universe. Why? Because they're interesting and they have a personality and a backstory and you can do a lot with either one or both. **

**The whole Uchiha clan is not only freaking awesome but also tragic. And it's one of the darker parts of the whole universe. And I want to embrace it. This story had an undertone of ItaSasu and to be fair I sually don't write incest relationships but I read them and I can understand most of the pairings that I come accross and find them appealing from a story telling standpoint. I ship a lot of different Naruto characters together and come of the pairings are cannon but some aren't (though some of them should be *cough*Yahiko and Konan*cough*). **

**So this story was somewhat inspired by AO3 writer: A_Hawk, who has written several ItaSasu stories with darker undertones and some that describe the ending of the series in a rather negative light. Go see their work too if this felt like your cup of tea. This doen't really relate to their work but the feel of the story might be a bit similiar. **

**Disclaimer: Own nothing of this series and innitial inspiration came from A_Hawk, though the story and the intent behind it is mine. No intention of being a copy cat. (Peace)**

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! Please forgive my grammar mistakes since I'm not a native English speaker. **

**If you enjoyed, please review!**


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